


Choose Me.

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [403]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, they don't end up together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:14:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8443723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: The one where it's one sided.





	

**Author's Note:**

>   
> 

“Love me… that’s all I ask of you,”  


It was hopeless. 

Clint knew it was. He should have distanced himself the moment he found out he was feeling something. Maybe requested for a new handler, quit SHIELD, cut all ties from this place. That would have been the best course of action.

But he didn’t do any of those things.

He couldn’t, if he was being honest to himself.

SHIELD was the first place he ever found a home in, ironically, and Coulson, well, Coulson was the most decent person there. It was only a matter of time before Clint got attached.

It would’ve been okay if Clint had a chance with Coulson. It wasn’t like he was asking for a happily ever after. He just wanted to be the reason why Coulson smiled, the same way Coulson was the reason behind Clint’s more genuine smiles. He didn’t have to be in a relationship with the man to do that.

That’s why Clint decided, a long time ago, that he’d be Coulson’s friend, and nothing more. 

It was easier that way. For both of them.

They exchanged banter, flirted shamelessly, had inside jokes - it was almost perfect and Clint wanted, now more than ever, to be Coulson’s, and in turn, for Coulson to be his.

And then, Natasha happened. 

Natasha was a whirlwind sort of a friend. She was the kind of friend who wouldn’t hesitate to knock a man out for talking smack about you, but would also do the same to you if you ever got stupid enough. She was the best kind of friend. 

As such, Clint thought that, maybe, with Natasha he could forget about Coulson. Maybe he could move on. Maybe he could finally be with Coulson without feeling like total crap afterwards. 

She smiled at him when he propositioned her. She kissed his cheek and hugged him tight. She was willing to go through a lot for her friends, but even she can’t force Clint to move on if his heart wasn’t ready.

So they stayed friends, and occasionally, if Clint told her about Coulson, she’d bust out the good alcohol. 

She’d told him once to just tell Coulson how he felt, that the worst he could do was say no, and if Coulson ever said no, she’d buy him ice cream and they’d watch ‘13 going 30′ together. 

Clint stupidly agreed. He gathered his courage and made his way to Coulson’s office that night. Coulson was always happy to see him, but tonight, he was practically glowing with happiness, it was contagious. Clint smiled as he listened to Coulson talk about his day. Then, Coulson started talking about the cellist and Clint’s heart broke without ever being rejected. It was like a punch to the gut every time Coulson mentioned her name. 

Audrey. Audrey. Audrey.

What’s so great about Audrey Nathan? Sure, she was pretty. She was talented, too. Probably smart. Clint would bet she’s an absolute angel and that she’d be perfect for Coulson in every way but she didn’t know a single thing about Coulson. Not like Clint did, never like Clint did. 

Clint wanted to ask Coulson if he could just forget about Audrey and choose him instead. He already knew Coulson. They wouldn’t have to go through the awkward first stage of a relationship because they were already basically best friends. Clint might not have a formal education but he makes up for that with his street smarts. 

They could be perfect together.

‘ _Choose me,’_ He wanted to say. “I’m happy for you,” he said instead.  


Their relationship has been a bit rocky since that day and Clint’s man enough to admit that it’s his fault. He was avoiding Coulson, after all. How could he not? Every time he saw the man’s face, his heart broke a little more.

Natasha offered to be the buffer, talk to Coulson for Clint, grab his briefing packets for him - anything that involved being in contact with Coulson. Clint refused, of course. It would seem suspicious if he had agreed, and he’d rather not let Coulson find out about his feelings. 

Besides, this was good, with this much heartbreak, it was impossible not to be able to move on.

Coulson, apparently, had other ideas, because as soon as their latest mission was over, he pulled Clint aside and talked to him about what was bothering him. 

At first, Clint decided to play the clueless card and pretend that nothing was wrong but they’ve known each other long enough for that to be a guaranteed failure. Clint tried to assure him that nothing was wrong, probably just Coulson’s imagination acting up again. Coulson didn’t buy it. He pressed on, trying to catch Clint in his lie. Clint tried changing the subject and asked about Audrey. 

Coulson’s eyes went a fraction wider when realization dawned on him. Somehow, Coulson surmised that Clint didn’t like Audrey for some reason, that was why the archer was acting weird.

Clint wanted to laugh then. If only Coulson knew why he didn’t like Audrey. If only Coulson knew how much Clint loved him. If only Coulson would choose him. 

Coulson paused. 

Clint looked up with wide eyes. Had he just said- _Oh no. Please, God, no._

Coulson stepped back and his face fell. Utter heartbreak was the only emotion Clint could read on his face. He tried to reach out but thought better of it. He opened and closed his mouth with false starts.

Clint turned away and swallowed, he’d already said the worst, there was nothing left to lose. 

“Love me… that’s all I ask of you,” He said in a small voice, still afraid that Couls- no, Phil; he’ll call him by his first name if this was going to be the last - would hear him.  


Phil looked as torn and heartbroken as Clint felt, “I’m sorry, I can’t. Not in the way you want.” 

Clint nodded and turned to walk away without saying another word.

Natasha probably won’t mind if he drank her stash.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/152600514351/angst-ahoy-d-also-if-you-have-tuber)


End file.
